AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT

I've been waiting for this inspiration for a long time. My friends have been waiting--especially my fellow students in a certain Kyrios and a certain Kyria's (Mr. and Mrs, but married only in spirit) claess.

Greek Americans understand about Greek school, but I think many ethnic groups attempt the same (lets assume noble intentions but you know where that paved road often leads to, yes indeed). But for many of us it was the Great Greek American Nightmare. Not a trauma for all, granted, but for many. Imagine this (cue Twilight zone Music) after a FULL day of regular "American School" we got whisked to some other place, some rented schoolroom to learn the language of our fathers and mothers. Thats not bad. Thats's good. In our adult wisdom, we know we benefited. We are better connected to a great civilization. We speak a beautiful language better for it (or at least, we can write and read it better--no, our speaking grammar is better for it too). and we added at least 20 points to our SAT, GRE, all those E-scores.

Ma pou tous vrikane autous? Where did they find these people? They chased us with wooden coat hangers. They put chewing gum on our noses (yes they did! The greek dunce cap) they told our parents we were monsters. They seemed to DELIGHT in humiliating us (jeez, my greek accent is OK, but poor Athena --how could a man or woman who was now an American citizen but who could BARELY speak english make fun of the greek accent of a kid born in brooklyn?

Well its just two days old, a second draft, so I might accept suggestions.

My little parody ditty is set to the music (with apologies and best wishes) of Amy Winehouse's REHAB. I set my parody lines in bold typeface just below those for Rehab so you can match it to the music. With no musical education to speak of, I believe all but one line (noted) matches the beat. Yiasas


GREEK SCHOOL

They tried to make me go to rehab
They tried to make me go to greek school
I said no, no, no.
I said no, no, no
Yes I been black, but when I come back
Yes I been bad and yiayia is sad
You wont know, know, know.
But no, no, no

I ain’t got the time
I ain’t got the time
And if my daddy thinks im fine
And if mbamba thinks Im fine
He’s tried to make me go to rehab
He’s tried to make me go to Greek school
I wont go, go, go.
I wont go, go, go


I’d rather be at home with ray
I’d rather go out and play
I ain’t got 70 days
I ain’t got 70 days
Cos there’s nothing, nothing you can teach me
Cos there’s nothing, nothing you can teach me
That I can't learn from Mr. Hathaway
That I can’t learn from Yiayia today
Didn’t get a lot in class
Didn’t learn much greek culture
But I know it don’t come in a shot glass
But it shouldn’t be like torture -- torture!

They’re tryin to make me go to rehab
They’re tryin to make me go to greek school
I said no, no, no
I said no, no, no
Yes I been black, but when I come back
Yes Greece is cool but the teacher’s a fool
You wont know, know, know.
Yeah you know, know, know
I aint got the time,
I don’t wanna whine
And if my Daddy thinks im fine,
But greek poems always rhyme
He’s tried to make me go to rehab,
They even make me do the dances
I wont go, go, go.
Opa!, no,no, no

The man said, why you think you here?
The priest said why you think you here?
I said, I got no idea
I said, I got no idea
Im gonna, im gonna loose my baby
You can’t say, cant say I’m kakos (bad)
So I always keep a bottle near
Based on Mis-ter. Bar-fa-na-kos’ fear
Said, I just think you’re depressed
Said, I just think you depressed
Kiss me, yeah baby
You know!, you know!
And go rest
Greece the best!

They’re tryin to make me go to rehab
They’re tryin to make me go to greek school
I said no, no, no
I said no, no, no
Yes I been black, but when I come back
Yes I been black but the teach is on crack
You wont know, know, know
I know, know, know

I don’t ever wanna drink again
I don’t ever wanna get hit again
I just, ooo, I just need a friend
Mama says: you! “prepi na pas” (you must go)
Im not gonna spend 10 weeks
Mbamba says “xylo tha fas” (you will get a beating)
Have everyone think im on the mend
And I yell “noooooooo prepi! Noooooooo prepi!” (only here is music altered to fit)
It’s not just my pride
Hell-e-nic ed-u-ca-tion
It’s just til these tears have dried
Feels just like in-car-cer-a-tion

They’re tryin to make me go to rehab
They’re tryin to make me go to greek school
I said no, no, no
I said no, no, no
Yes I been black, but when I come back,
Yes I been bad but the teachers are mad
You wont know, know, know
You don’t know know know
I aint got the time,
I aint got the time,
And if my daddy thinks im fine
And if mbamba thinks im fine

He’s trying to make me go to rehab
He’s trying to make me go to Greek school

I wont go, go, go.
I wont go, go, go.